hopless dreaming

It’s beginning to feel alot like Christmas

So, despite the fact that it seems as if everyone in the planet has been in the Christmas spirt for a couple months now, I have finally discovered it’s about that time again. 

Christmas is my favorite holiday of the year. My family is always together and it’s pretty much the only time of year when I get to see my entire family.

This year is going to be a little strange. My mother and my aunt are in a huge fight and unfortunately it looks like I will be the only member of the Morris family to attend the Napolillo Christmas party. 

It puts me in an awkward predicament, but I just can’t bare to let Christmas go by knowing that this just might be the last one that I can spend with my grandma. 

My grandma and aunt have been so active in my life for as long as I can even remember. I lived right across the yard from them for 11 years. I would always run to them for help whenever things would get tough with mom. They were always there for me. Grandma would always make me mashed potatoes, and we would watch a movie.

But things have changed since then. My grandma is developing a slight dementia and now instead of going to grandma for help, I’m going to grandma to help. She asks the same questions over and over again and to some people it gets a little annoying. But I see past it. I love my grandma so much. She’s taught me alot of what I know now. 

She’s taught me that no matter what, life does go on. Family matters most. Teenage boys aren’t even worth it because they can’t get their things up yet ;). But most importantly, she’s taught me that true love IS out there. 

I can’t explain in words how thankful I am for her and my grandpa who may not be there with her physically, but always spiritually. Without them, I would have very little guidance. They made me believe in love, faith, Christmas, and family. 

Merry Christmas everyone <3 <3 <3
Buon Natale <3 <3 

Ode to the blues of going back to motown..

I’ve been waiting for what seems like forever to go to WVU. It was supposed to be like a dream come true for me. But instead, I dread it everytime I have to go back to that terrible place. Is it my mom? Is it my recent incident with what I thought couldn’t happen? Is it the scenery? 

I really don’t know what it is. But I’m dying to know why I can no longer even think about that terrible place without crying or shuddering. I’ve spent a whole week here. Shouldn’t that be enough to do me in for a while?

I guess there’s just something about this place, sitting on the back of a tailgate, gazing into his eyes, a cold beer in one hand, the secure feeling I get even going to parties by myself.

:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :’(